HOW WILL YOU KNOW A STYLE OVER THE PHONE? PT 2
In this week’s lesson we’re continuing a two-part series showing you how to assess, address, and navigate phone calls with each style. Today’s styles are the DOVE and the Owl. Which are you? Do you find it helpful to understand someone’s styles in order to learn how to address them in high pressure situations? Read more and see how these apply in your next phone call.
Steadiness – High "S" Style – Relater – Dove
"How are you?" or "I'm glad to hear from you again," are typical Steady Style greetings. Like those telephone company TV commercials, their warmth can seem to transcend the limitations of the phone lines. Although they prefer more personal interactions with people, they will also settle for indirect contact - especially if the person is pleasant and non-threatening. They project this people orientation by phone and like to build a personal, first-name relationship with callers. Even if they don't know you, they may say, "You don't have to be formal. Just call me Alice." They may project a desire to know you personally or provide you with good service. They communicate with steady, even vocal intonations to convey friendliness, comfort, and a sense of relaxation. Steady Styles tend to be naturals at listening to others' ideas and feelings, whether on the phone or in person. They tend to be interested in the blow-by-blow, point-by-point description of what you did yesterday or the sequential pattern of how to complete a certain task. You're probably talking to a Steady Style if you notice slower than average speech patterns, more moments of listening than of speaking, and references to actual, real-life experiences regarding either products or mutual acquaintances.
"I'LL LOOK IT UP FOR YOU"
Steady Styles tend to express themselves in a rather tentative manner in both their face-to-face and telephone conversations. "I'll need to consult Mrs. Adams before I can make that decision," or, "I'm not sure we can do that, but I'll get back to you as soon as I find out." As in other aspects of their lives, they often defer to the more human, proven way things have always been done. They typically feel more comfortable making decisions based on conferring with others rather than by themselves. "What do you think?" and "How do you feel?" and "What do you recommend?" are all common questions this type may ask.
Conscientious – High "C" Style – Thinker – Owl
"Good afternoon, Mr. Lomis. This is Jonathan Williams. You asked me to call back Monday morning." Formal greetings are one tip-off that you may be dealing with a Compliant Style. Time-conscious individuals of this type often get to a task just when they say they will. Monday morning it is! In this example, the Compliant Style also calls himself Jonathan, not Jon. We've noticed that many people in this category call themselves by their given names, not by nicknames. It's Elizabeth, Rebecca, Donald, and Peter, not Beth, Becka, Don, or Pete. Of course, there are exceptions. Actually, Jon may prove to be an effective and logical alternative for some Compliant Styles, but this type seems less likely to tolerate what they perceive as cute nicknames for themselves, such as Johnny, Ricky, Cindy, or Becky.
"MAY I SPEAK WITH MR. HOLMES OR DR. BROTHERS?"
They prefer brief, to-the-point telephone calls. Although they may not tell you, call them Mister or Ms. or Doctor or whatever their titles happen to be. Compliant Styles sometimes view jumping into a first-name basis as invasion of privacy, so they deal with others on a more formal basis. If you think you're talking to Sherlock Holmes or Dr. Joyce Brothers, chances are you've contacted a Compliant Style. They typically retain their ground in stressful situations when they can maintain their position with concrete facts or reverse-control questions. They do this quietly and independently, by first avoiding others. Then they take on the problem in an orderly way which is aligned with their own plan.
"NEED TO KNOW" BASIS
They're inclined to talk in rather structured, careful speech patterns, almost weighing their words as they say them. They tend to ask pertinent questions and talk in a quiet, observant, cautious way. Additionally, they may not volunteer much about their personal selves beyond the equivalent of name, rank, and serial number. "Yes, I'm married with two children. We live in New York." They prefer to keep the relationship formal, yet pleasant and businesslike. Less can be more to a Compliant Style - less conversation, self-DISClosure, and verbal communication equals more comfort zone. So we must learn to hear between the lines: Longer than average silences, especially when we ask them more private questions, may signal annoyance or reluctance. When this occurs, ask, "Am I getting too personal?" or "If I'm asking uncomfortable questions, how could you let me know so I don't make a problem for either of us?" They may relax more if they think they have an out. Careful and correct Like Steady Styles, Compliant Styles tend to express themselves in a rather tentative manner. "I'll check on that and let you know tomorrow." Or they may want to provide you with information so you can form your own conclusions. "I have a copy of the Governor's report in my files. If I send it to you, perhaps you can find what you're looking for." Both these approaches satisfy Compliant Styles' need for caution and correctness. They simply may not want to get misquoted or, possibly, involved in the first place.
